25
Apr
2010
I got kicked out of Tufts because I was raped. It is still a concept that I still struggle to gasp. It feels so absurd as I know how Tufts have worked hard to cooperate with students who have drug addictions or eating disorders. Unfortunately, being raped by another student was not a reason for them to have any sympathy. From the very moment that I decided to speak up and tell Tufts what I went through until the day I received their denial of my expulsion appeal I experienced a range of attitudes from various administrators. The range went from awkward silence with a sense of panic in their eyes– clearly showing they had no idea what to do or say–to cold, merciless words saying that the Tufts lawyers thoroughly reviewed my case to make sure they had no legal obligation to help me – and so they won’t.
It is an understatement that almost everyone I spoke to regarding my sexual assaults (yes there was more than one) and abusive relationship (there was only one, but it lasted for multiple years) was ill-equipped to properly handle the information I shared over and over to different administrators. The result was a long, slow descent–from a place where I thought I could regain some control over my life and feel empowerment after a long, demoralizing relationship to a place where an institution told me that what happened to me was unimportant and they no longer wanted to deal with me.
I must say that during my years at Tufts I learned a lot. However, the most long lasting lesson I take with me did not take place in the classroom. It was through the systematic display of rape culture. Where a rape victim is called crazy behind her back, alienated from the little support and comfort she had on campus while her rapist remained on campus without any ramifications and graduated on time.
Sometimes I am still ashamed. It is hard to fight the message that was repeated to you for years by multiple people. But I am no longer afraid. I want to share my journey and my story with you. I want to be able to tell other rape victims that the lack of support is not unique to their situation or their fault, but rather it is unfortunately still an ingrained part of the system at Tufts (and many other universities). A part of me was taken at Tufts by both my rapist and the administrators who let him be, but here I will be willingly giving an important and integral part of my life to whomever may read.
Please be patient with me as I share my story over a few posts. It will be difficult to bring up these memories again and to make the time to write them up. But I will do it. It’s worth it.
I'm so sorry that this happened to you. Thanks for sharing your story.
thanks for sharing your support.
you are strong for sharing your story. thank you for voice